This is a story to support children in identifying and navigating the emotions that coincide with hearing their parents arguing. It aims to inform children that they have a voice and can communicate it. It was inspired by typical arguments that arise in my own and others home and the story has facilitated my son to comment when he hears arguing, creating awareness for the adults of the impact of their behaviour on their young children.
There was a great land not far from here that was ruled by a great dinosaur Queen and King. They took great care of all the kingdom and were loved and respected by all those who lived there. The King and Queen had a little doggie called Biscuit, and Biscuit stayed close by the Queen and King day and night. Biscuit liked to play in the garden and when he was there, he could hear the Queen and King laughing and talking and he could see them cuddling and helping one another. The Queen and King were great friends
One lovely sunny day, the Queen, the king and Biscuit went walking together in the forest, when suddenly the King and Queen began roaring at one another. The king had an angry roar and the Queen had an annoyed roar. Biscuit felt scared-he didn’t like the loud roaring but he stayed quiet and made himself really small. The three of them continued walking and soon the roaring turned to silence. Everything in the forest was really really quiet and that didn’t feel right either.
The Queen and King were usually great friends but now they were not friends at all. Biscuit didn’t know what to do. They had brought a picnic and so they all stopped walking and began setting up the picnic. The queen wouldn’t look at anyone and the king stomped around with his big feet. Biscuit went off for a little sniff by himself. Biscuit knew this part of the forest well and he ran to where his friend Oakie, a huge old oak tree stood and he lay down beside her. Oakie said “Hello little Biscuit, you look worried, are you ok?” Biscuit said “The King and Queen are roaring at one another and I don’t like it.” ”Oh, they are having an argument” Oakie said. Biscuit nodded his head to say yes and told Oakie that when they fight, everything goes really loud for a while and afterwards it’s really really quiet for a longer time. Oakie listened carefully as Biscuit talked about his beloved Queen and King not getting along and then when Biscuit was finished, Oakie told him “I’m very proud of you for using your words to talk about what is giving you big feelings of worry and sadness” Oakie continued “When you use your words to talk about these big feelings, it can help you feel better.” Biscuit thought about what Oakie said and Biscuit announced “I do feel better”. Biscuit then heard the Queen calling “Let’s go Biscuit”. Oakie wrapped his branches around Biscuit and they shared a lovely hug and then Biscuit ran off to join the Queen and King. They were laughing and talking like good friends.
A few weeks later , Biscuit was playing in the garden again when he heard the Queen and King roaring at one another. He felt scared but this time he decided he wasn’t going to stay quiet. He walked straight up to the Queen and King and shouted as loud as he could “STOP”. The Queen and King stopped immediately and they looked at one another in surprise. They said to one another “Let’s sort this out by remembering we are friends and we can talk about our problem to find a solution.” Biscuit felt strong for using his words.
Biscuit, the Queen and the King now understood that words are very powerful and that talking calmly can help people be friends and feel better. Later they all went to have some ice-cream together and talked and laughed and had lots of fun.
How to access this resource:
Let’s Talk About It
Let us know how your children responded to Oakie’s wise words.