I need this if:

I am going to be in an airport and have a person on the Autistic spectrum with my party

This can help if:

All ages

Why is this useful:

Cards: They provide a way to communicate to airport personelle and other flyers that there is someone in my party who has great difficulty waiting in queues.

Visuals: they can support the person with autism to understand what will happen in the airport, helping to reduce anxiety.

Suggestion for how to use this:

Communication card: It is best if the person who the card is connected to is wearing the card/lanyard, around their neck or on their jacket. Somewhere that is not annoying for them and visible by others.

Visuals: sure the individual the pictures, and to talk through what will happen prior to attending the airport. It may be beneficial to have access to the visuals while you were in the airport and can show them again for reassurance.

How to access this resource:

You can buy the cards from:
https://asiam.ie/advice-guidance/communityinclusion/id-card/
(Note:This can take up to a month)

https://www.dublinairport.com/at-the-airport/helpandsupport/travelling-with-autism/ 

https://www.aerlingus.com/support/forms/special-assistanceform/

Visuals:

https://www.aerlingus.com/travel-information/travellingwithchildren/travelling-with-an-asd-child/#/tab-0-pre-flight

https://www.dublinairport.com/at-the-airport/helpandsupport/travelling-with-autism

Sensory Room:

https://www.dublinairport.com/at-the-airport/helpandsupport/sensory-room/sensory-room

PDF Infograhic : https://www.sycamorepsychology.ie/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Top-Tip-Resources-for-travelling-through-the-airport.pdf

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Let’s Talk About It

I need this if:

My child becomes overwhelmed by loud noises or in any social situations, like parties, summer camps, etc.

This can help if:

Why is this useful:

Suggestion for how to use this:

How to access this resource:

The video, produced by the Guardian, can be accessed here:

PDF Infograhic : https://www.sycamorepsychology.ie/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/Top-Tip-Why-does-my-child-find-birthday-parties-difficult.pdf

Stay Connected

Let’s Talk About It

The use of pornographic images is not a new thing, however access to it used to be highly restrictive and accessing it was considered taboo. As practically every home in Ireland has access to the internet, today’s access to pornography is quick and easy.

What age are children accessing pornography?

Parents have great difficulty believing that their child could be accessing pornographic images but the reality is that pornography comes looking for them well before they go looking for it. The evidence indicates that children as young as 9 are seeing pornography online  and this develops into them searching for it by the age of 11.

Key studies in the past decade have shown the average age of exposure to pornography dipping lower and lower as technology has become more accessible. Because of this, kids have been facing the realities of online porn at lower ages and in greater numbers. On the whole, chances are if your child is aged 13 or over they have seen pornography, and the question is then, how much?

Why is pornography damaging to young minds?

Contemporary pornography is damaging to young minds because it portrays an unhealthy and inaccurate version of

1. sexual intercourse
2. intimacy
3. what a man desires when he is having sex,
4. what a woman desires when she is having sex

It also portrays unhealthy images of

1. How a females body should look
2. How a males body should look
3. How are males expected to perform sexually
4. How are females expected to perform sexually

Young people are exposed and learning all this inaccurate and unhealthy information regarding sex and sexual relationships and other evidence indicates that this information is not being combated by healthy information on sex and relationships and intimacy. In Ireland, our constitution states that parents are the primary educators of the children however parents tend to shy away from conversations regarding pornography and sex. Schools are accepted as being the educators of children however schools also shy away from these topics with evidence indicating that many schools do not teach the curriculum content relating to these matters, leaving major holes in what is supposed in the SPHE curriculum.

Evidence indicates that pornography is a drug and affects the brain in the same way that any other drug does. This means that as time goes on, the person using the pornography needs more and more, and harder and harder pornography to achieve the same level of satisfaction-just like any dug. This means that some young people access progressively more hard-core pornography depicting violence, gender based violence, in some cases rape, racial abuse and in some cases moving onto one of the hardest forms of pornography, child pornography. Some researchers talk about how adult pornography is a gateway to child pornography, as addictive pathway in the brain is stimulated, like any drug, the brain will need more of it and harder forms to reach satiation and research suggests that that means child pornography.

Talking about pornography is particularly challenging for parents as their generation did not have as much access to it and therefore retain a lot of shame around the idea, particularly discussing it. However, if we don’t discuss it with our children and young people, we are leaving them incredibly vulnerable in terms of what others may expect of them in a sexual experience, or how they conduct themselves during a sexual experience, what is normal behaviour when we have a strong rape culture, the damage of sexting and use of sexual images-our own, or others.  In cases where the use of pornography ends up in accessing child pornography, this can result in a criminal record and potentially detrimental effects on the individuals family and the young person and family whose images have been used in a pornographic manner.

How can I help my child?

1. Explore your own values in relation to pornography and identify which ones are likely to infringe on a conversation with your child about this topic. The more you can speak about the topic without becoming offended or upset or disgusted, the more likely your child will engage in a conversation with you. These short videos can inform and support a conversation with your child.

We need to talk about pornography: https://vimeo.com/200804644?embedded=true&source=video_title&owner=5488638

How watching pornography can affect a child? https://vimeo.com/200804489?embedded=true&source=video_title&owner=5488638

How to react to your child seeing  pornography: https://vimeo.com/200804153?embedded=true&source=video_title&owner=5488638

2. Talk to your children and let them know you support them. Don’t shame them or this will shut the conversation down. Fight the new drug have free templates to support conversations around pornography between parents, children and others such as romantic partners and strangers. It provides tips for navigating this tricky topic.

More information on pornography and its effects are available here.

https://fightthenewdrug.org/videos/#FTNDvideos

https://fightthenewdrug.org/get-the-facts/

Let’s Talk About It

Do you find it difficult to have these conversations with your kids?

How many is too many?

In situations where a child’s parents have separated, and both their parents are still living, the majority of the time these children are heartbroken and still love both of their parents dearly. They dream and wish that their parents would get back together. When a new partner is introduced, children can have a big reaction to this, which may be very obvious in their behaviour in the form of verbalising such as “I don’t like you” or “ You are not my parent”. Or it may be less obvious in their behaviour such as passive aggressive behaviour of ignoring the new parent or purposefully antagonising them. When the new partner wants to take on a parental role, and children are reacting against this, the reaction can cause the new partner to be angry and judgemental of both the child and the parenting they have received to date. In reality, when children have 2 living parents, they generally perceive that they do not need any more parents, and that two was enough.

Circling back around to previous blog (1), if the new partner is ever to receive the status of parent from the child, this is a relationship the takes extensive time, space and ongoing communication and compassion between the adults involved.

Let’s Talk About It

Time and space are key ingredients.

When in the throes of new love, people often want to move quickly and often move in together too quickly. However the complexity involved in blending people’s lives who are connected by 1° of separation (such as being my partner’s child, or my dad’s girlfriend) means that they require lots of time and as much physical space as possible to help them get used to the transition. Children can often be emotionally confused and conflicted and need their parent’s reassurance and time to support them in embracing their new life (which they often do not). If children are only seeing their parents on scheduled visiting times and this time is also being shared with a new partner, it can lead to a lot of heartache for children, the feeling of rejection, jealousy and anger. If the co-partner is trying their best to get along with the child, which is often interpreted as being overbearing or being intrusive on the parent-child relationship, this makes the space very claustrophobic turning the situation into a pressure cooker. Time and space allow for some of the built up steam to blow off.

Let’s Talk About It